Below are some answers to Frequently Asked Questions about funerals.
● Contact the Funeral Home of your choice. You may also choose to use Diocese of Sacramento’s funeral ministry that assists families with complete funeral services, e.g. mortuary, funeral services, reception, and burial. For more information click here.
● While meeting with the Funeral Director, contact Sacred Heart at 916-452-4136 extension 2 to determine the availability of a priest/deacon to celebrate the funeral.
● Make sure the Funeral Director sends all pertinent information to Sacred Heart Parish.
● Schedule a meeting with the priest/deacon to plan the Funeral Mass or Funeral Service, indicating at that time your various preferences, if any, for Scripture readings, music, etc.
Since a funeral in a Catholic church is rooted in a Church sacrament, it can seem very different to a memorial service that one might attend at a funeral home or other venue. It is, at its core, a Catholic Mass. As such, some events that one might expect at a memorial service, do not occur at the Mass but may happen at a reception. Below are commonly asked questions by those unfamiliar with Catholic rites.
May non-Catholics attend?
Yes! All who mourn the deceased or want to attend to show support for the family, are most welcome.
Do I need to know all of the Catholic prayers if you attend?
No. You may participate in prayer responses if you like, although this is not required. As a show of respect, you are asked to stand, if you can, for the reading of the Gospel, but otherwise you may kneel or sit during the Mass.
Will there be a eulogy?
Yes, but it is not to be confused with the Homily, which is given by the priest, and is a reflection on the Scriptures and their impact on the life of the deceased. The eulogy comes right before the Final Commendation and is usually given by a member of the family or a close friend at the request of the family. It is not a time for anyone attending to share a story about the deceased. That action occurs at the reception, if there is one, and can be of comfort to the family. But it is not part of the liturgical rite.
May I receive Communion?
Only practicing Catholics may receive Communion. However, you are welcome to come forward during Communion for a blessing. Simply cross your arms over your chest and the Minister distributing Communion will give you a blessing. If you do not wish to receive a blessing, simply remain in the pew while others are receiving Communion.
Do I have to wear black to attend?
No. Business attire of any color is acceptable.
How long is the Funeral Mass?
A Funeral Mass is about one hour, depending on the length of the eulogy.
Do I have to attend the burial if I attend the Funeral Mass?
No. The burial is a separate rite and attendance at one has no bearing on the other.
Some helpful thoughts to help someone cope with the death of a loved one
Reflection on Funerals
If you have ever wondered why Catholics have certain rituals and practices at the
time of death, then you are not alone. Our faith in the Paschal Mystery (the life,
death and resurrection of Jesus Christ) reveals itself through the dying and death
of each Christian. The following points are designed to invite reflection upon the
meaning of what we do and believe at the time of a Christian death. We also
hope that this section will act as a guide for you to better understand and
appreciate our beliefs and practices.
In facing death, we are reminded that God has created each person for eternal
life. We celebrate the funeral rites to offer worship, praise, and thanksgiving to
God for the gift of a person's life, which has now been returned to the Author of
Life. At the death of a Christian, the Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased.
We are confident in the conviction that death is not the end, nor does it break the
bonds of family, friendship, and community that are forged in life.
The Church, through its funeral rites, commends the dead to God's merciful love
and pleads for the forgiveness of their sins. The celebration of the Christian
funeral brings hope and consolation to the living. In the Eucharistic sacrifice, the
Church celebrates Christ's Passover from death to life and our participation in this
great mystery. The faith of all the baptized is renewed and nourished in this
celebration. The intimate connection between the baptism of the Christian into
the death and resurrection of Christ and the Eucharistic celebration is one of the
main reasons for offering the Mass for the deceased.
In summary, we believe that in celebrating the funeral rites, we affirm and express the union of the Church on earth with the Church in heaven in the one great communion of saints. Though separated from the living, the dead are still at one with the community of believers on earth and benefit from their prayers and intercession. In the gathering of the community of believers with the community of saints in heaven, we offer our prayers through the person of Jesus Christ in the greatest prayer of the Church, which is the Eucharist.
Words on Grief and Mourning
Simply stated, grief is your reaction to the death of your loved one. It consists of
the internal thoughts and emotions you may have at any given time. Common
emotions are sadness, anger, and guilt. The grief reaction is very different for
everyone-no two hearts ache in the same way. And despite what you may have
been told, there are no stages of grief, meaning there is no "common path."
There is only your path.
Mourning is the outward expression of your internal grief. It is your proactive
response. Mourning is not passive, rather it consists of the many ways you can
express your grief. In expressing your grief, you begin to heal. Your life will never
be the same, but gradually, as you mourn the loss of your loved one, you begin to
move forward into a new and different life.